I am not the right age, do not have the right brand of printer, my kids are not over 13 and under 36 months, I do not eat at the right restaurants, do not drink alcohol, do not have the right bank for my checking, do not have a new enough vehicle, nor planning on buying the RIGHT vehicle in the future, do not shop at the right stores, nor buy the right brand of clothing....Can I PLEASE qualify for SOMETHING!!!!

okay...vent over...for now....